I'm a spaz....my boss' boss thinks I'm doing a good job and told me so
today.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Yikes!
One of my friend's from work had major surgery a few weeks ago on her sinuses, and something went wrong.
They cracked her skull.
She has brain juice coming out her nose!
I spent 45 mintes on the phone with her last night talking about it. She can't get up and move around, because her skull has not healed up enough to fully prevent leakage (leakage!). She has to stay prone @ a 45 degree angle. She has to take so many meds, that if you had only been talking to her on the phone, you would think she's an old lady. Can't sneeze, can't cough, can't even strain going poo - or she might leak more brain juice!
The fluid from her brain is leaking out of her skull!
L - if you read this, I love you sweetheart, but you need to sue your doctor.
They cracked her skull.
She has brain juice coming out her nose!
I spent 45 mintes on the phone with her last night talking about it. She can't get up and move around, because her skull has not healed up enough to fully prevent leakage (leakage!). She has to stay prone @ a 45 degree angle. She has to take so many meds, that if you had only been talking to her on the phone, you would think she's an old lady. Can't sneeze, can't cough, can't even strain going poo - or she might leak more brain juice!
The fluid from her brain is leaking out of her skull!
L - if you read this, I love you sweetheart, but you need to sue your doctor.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Having a shitty month.....
Well, the roomie got canned about a month ago and the SO and I have been struggling ever since. I can't cover quite all the rent and bills by myself, even though I make $600 a week after taxes. At $2400 a month it's hard to pay everything, and LA is cheaper than Austin.
Right now I'm having a shitty time because my boss is really pissed off at me. I'm in charge of an account's packaging redesign, and it's not going well. Mainly because I am dealing with an outside vendor, of the account's choosing, for the art. My boss is pissed because I was not
communicative enough with the entire team, including production, operations and sales. It's my job, but I didn't realize every delay had to be communicated to everyone. The outside firm gave us deadlines they came up with and didn't meet them....then didn't return my calls. Magically, when my boss calls they pickup the phone. A meeting was called by the VP of Production at the plant this account's products are packaged, asking for status updates on the art. I didn't realize that his portion of the team and the rest of the people on the project were freaking out because they felt like they hadn't been updated. When my boss, who hadn't been invited to said meeting, found out - she flipped. I got my ass chewed the day before the meeting and the day of right
before. I thought this was just a, "hey, here's were we stand meeting" but according to the boss, they were going to eat me alive. She went, explained status, allayed everyone's nervousness and kept me from getting torn apart.
She later told me, people at our comapny only ever really remember the bad things you do, that you can do good work for a long time, but if you make one mistake - that's all they remember. I'm sure that's true of a lot of places.
My boss and I are alot alike, we get along really well but lately I feel like I can't get anything right. She yelled at me today because I misspelled a word in an email to someone inside the company! And....the outside design firm used too many colors in one of the pieces of art they sent to us, but I hadn't noticed. So I got yelled at for that. That one I understand, every color you add over 6 to a package design, forces the printing cost to skyrocket. I have a very complicated project going on for all accounts that involves 2 pieces of verbage for each label, not all labels get both. I confused the two labeling issues two time in the past two days, so I got fussed at twice for that.
When I rush, I make mistakes. It's as simple as that. Lately, everything has been a rush. Maybe I wasn't ready to head up a redesign project by myself yet. Well, okay...definitely not ready if my boss had to step in. I can handle all the day to day projects with no problem, but the redesigns have put me over the top.
She's stressed because she has significantly larger redesigns in progress and is having problems with both of them. I don't know if it's just me or I'm just aggrevating the situation and that's pissing her off.
I'm just scared I'm going to get fired. I'm always scared of that, just because I'm afraid that I'm not good enough. But this time, I can't afford to get fired. I need every penny I'm making. We are 2 weeks late with rent, but our land lord is cool. If I lost my job, I couldn't pay rent next month. What the hell!
I'm probably just being a drama queen anyway. When I talked to my boss a few months ago about the possibility of being fired, she said I would be warned if it was going to happen. I know she wouldn't lie. But I have totally lost my confidence in what I'm doing. Now I feel like I have to check everything with her, no matter how minor.
This sucks.
On the upside, the SO's working on his demo reel. He talked to a software dealer this week who said he could probably pick up work going to user's groups meetings and getting to know people. Showing he could at least talk intelligently about the subject would help a lot. He's
been working with 3D art for over 10 years now. He knows what he's doing, that shouldn't be hard.
Right now I'm having a shitty time because my boss is really pissed off at me. I'm in charge of an account's packaging redesign, and it's not going well. Mainly because I am dealing with an outside vendor, of the account's choosing, for the art. My boss is pissed because I was not
communicative enough with the entire team, including production, operations and sales. It's my job, but I didn't realize every delay had to be communicated to everyone. The outside firm gave us deadlines they came up with and didn't meet them....then didn't return my calls. Magically, when my boss calls they pickup the phone. A meeting was called by the VP of Production at the plant this account's products are packaged, asking for status updates on the art. I didn't realize that his portion of the team and the rest of the people on the project were freaking out because they felt like they hadn't been updated. When my boss, who hadn't been invited to said meeting, found out - she flipped. I got my ass chewed the day before the meeting and the day of right
before. I thought this was just a, "hey, here's were we stand meeting" but according to the boss, they were going to eat me alive. She went, explained status, allayed everyone's nervousness and kept me from getting torn apart.
She later told me, people at our comapny only ever really remember the bad things you do, that you can do good work for a long time, but if you make one mistake - that's all they remember. I'm sure that's true of a lot of places.
My boss and I are alot alike, we get along really well but lately I feel like I can't get anything right. She yelled at me today because I misspelled a word in an email to someone inside the company! And....the outside design firm used too many colors in one of the pieces of art they sent to us, but I hadn't noticed. So I got yelled at for that. That one I understand, every color you add over 6 to a package design, forces the printing cost to skyrocket. I have a very complicated project going on for all accounts that involves 2 pieces of verbage for each label, not all labels get both. I confused the two labeling issues two time in the past two days, so I got fussed at twice for that.
When I rush, I make mistakes. It's as simple as that. Lately, everything has been a rush. Maybe I wasn't ready to head up a redesign project by myself yet. Well, okay...definitely not ready if my boss had to step in. I can handle all the day to day projects with no problem, but the redesigns have put me over the top.
She's stressed because she has significantly larger redesigns in progress and is having problems with both of them. I don't know if it's just me or I'm just aggrevating the situation and that's pissing her off.
I'm just scared I'm going to get fired. I'm always scared of that, just because I'm afraid that I'm not good enough. But this time, I can't afford to get fired. I need every penny I'm making. We are 2 weeks late with rent, but our land lord is cool. If I lost my job, I couldn't pay rent next month. What the hell!
I'm probably just being a drama queen anyway. When I talked to my boss a few months ago about the possibility of being fired, she said I would be warned if it was going to happen. I know she wouldn't lie. But I have totally lost my confidence in what I'm doing. Now I feel like I have to check everything with her, no matter how minor.
This sucks.
On the upside, the SO's working on his demo reel. He talked to a software dealer this week who said he could probably pick up work going to user's groups meetings and getting to know people. Showing he could at least talk intelligently about the subject would help a lot. He's
been working with 3D art for over 10 years now. He knows what he's doing, that shouldn't be hard.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Shoes.....
Living in Hollywood is bad for my shoe collecting fetish. I love shoes, I wear weird size so I'm sort of obsessed with them.
I can never have too many shoes. No matter if they are well made designer shoes, or Payless crap. I love them all.
There are no less than 20 stores that sell shoes within walking distance of my apartment. The mostly have hooker/stripper heels, but a couple have some really nice, work appropriate shoes. This makes it VERY painful to be broke at the moment. I have found, in my window shopping, oodles of shoes I desparately want.
All the shoes I wear on a regular basis are about to fall apart. The S.O. Does not understand why I need more than 2 pairs, he only has 2 pairs that he wears with any regularity and that suits him just fine. He does not get that having only 2 pairs of shoes will leave me seriously lacking for shoes to go with all my clothes. I mean - I have 1 pair of jeans I can't wear without heels, I need sneakers to wear to gym, dress shoes for work, slip ons to wear walking the dog, flip flops for the beach, and damn....the list won't quit.
Anyone want to donate to the "buy me shoes" fund? Gack!
See you
I can never have too many shoes. No matter if they are well made designer shoes, or Payless crap. I love them all.
There are no less than 20 stores that sell shoes within walking distance of my apartment. The mostly have hooker/stripper heels, but a couple have some really nice, work appropriate shoes. This makes it VERY painful to be broke at the moment. I have found, in my window shopping, oodles of shoes I desparately want.
All the shoes I wear on a regular basis are about to fall apart. The S.O. Does not understand why I need more than 2 pairs, he only has 2 pairs that he wears with any regularity and that suits him just fine. He does not get that having only 2 pairs of shoes will leave me seriously lacking for shoes to go with all my clothes. I mean - I have 1 pair of jeans I can't wear without heels, I need sneakers to wear to gym, dress shoes for work, slip ons to wear walking the dog, flip flops for the beach, and damn....the list won't quit.
Anyone want to donate to the "buy me shoes" fund? Gack!
See you
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
The subway adventure.......
Since the vehicular disaster back in July, I've been taking the train
and the metro buses to work and everywhere out of walking range.
Metro is good.....
It usually runs on time except when things go really wrong....Like the
day someone/thing got squished by a Blue Line train and it took me 3
hours to get home.
People on the train are very nice and friendly - everyone is trying to
get somewhere and it's never a short trip for anyone. My commute to work
is almost exactly 2 hours, doorstep to doorstep. I leave my house @ 5:40
AM and walk into my office at 7:30 or 7:40 depending on how fast my long
legs feel like carrying me.
Metro has done an amazing job zigzagging bus and train routes all across
this huge city so that a person can get practically anywhere anytime. I
take the subway three quarters of the way to my office and take a bus the
last few miles. I can get to just about any beach within reason, in Los
Angeles county on a BUS! How rockin is that?
I'm even writing this entry from the bus!
Okay, here are the down sides:
1. I can't get near my office without going though Compton.
2. They give prisoners, newly released - former menaces to society, bus
tokens to get home with.
3. If an accident happens, like the squishing incident previously
mentioned, you can be guaranteed an extra hour or 2 of standing and
waiting. Those are the times when people are rude and you wonder if you
were transplanted to new York somehow.
4. I spend 4 hours a day with Metro. Can we make a commute longer
please?
5. Men who take to train and bus assume you must be desperate for male
company if you ride the bus so I get hit on constantly. I've found that
wearing reading glasses and giving the "pissed off librarian over the
bifocals" look along with the shortest answer possible shuts them up
quick.
See you!
and the metro buses to work and everywhere out of walking range.
Metro is good.....
It usually runs on time except when things go really wrong....Like the
day someone/thing got squished by a Blue Line train and it took me 3
hours to get home.
People on the train are very nice and friendly - everyone is trying to
get somewhere and it's never a short trip for anyone. My commute to work
is almost exactly 2 hours, doorstep to doorstep. I leave my house @ 5:40
AM and walk into my office at 7:30 or 7:40 depending on how fast my long
legs feel like carrying me.
Metro has done an amazing job zigzagging bus and train routes all across
this huge city so that a person can get practically anywhere anytime. I
take the subway three quarters of the way to my office and take a bus the
last few miles. I can get to just about any beach within reason, in Los
Angeles county on a BUS! How rockin is that?
I'm even writing this entry from the bus!
Okay, here are the down sides:
1. I can't get near my office without going though Compton.
2. They give prisoners, newly released - former menaces to society, bus
tokens to get home with.
3. If an accident happens, like the squishing incident previously
mentioned, you can be guaranteed an extra hour or 2 of standing and
waiting. Those are the times when people are rude and you wonder if you
were transplanted to new York somehow.
4. I spend 4 hours a day with Metro. Can we make a commute longer
please?
5. Men who take to train and bus assume you must be desperate for male
company if you ride the bus so I get hit on constantly. I've found that
wearing reading glasses and giving the "pissed off librarian over the
bifocals" look along with the shortest answer possible shuts them up
quick.
See you!
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Seems like.......
It seems to me that lately when I write here, all I write about is how
things suck. At least my last post was about things suck....
They don't really, but I'm a drama queen.
I haven't written since before my birthday.
I've been to the beach 3 times since then. I love going to the beach. It
makes me feel at peace with the world. The sound of the waves just melts
away all the bad juujuu I've been feeling I have and realize that I
really am in a better place emotionally and physically.
Had we stayed in Austin, I'd be up to my eyeballs in all sorts of shit.
No power, no phone, no place to live and definitely no fun. There were
no jobs in Austin and if I did land one, it probably wouldn't have paid
as well as the one I have now.
I have some how lost my allergy to eggs too. Weirdness. Ordered
eggbeaters instead of scrambled eggs on a dinner at IHoP one morning
when the S.O. & I were splurging - they tasted kinda funny but, not bad
so I said something to the SO about it.....his eggs tasted funny too.
Well we switched the eggs, because, of course - the kitchen or waitress
made a mistake. But I've been able to eat eggs ever since. I assume that
this particular allergy was just a mental thing. I'd been told by my mom
that I was allergic to eggs, so I never ate them and when I did, they
made me nauseous (sp?). It's like my roomie's allergy to cheese. If he
is in a relationship with a woman, he magically becomes lactose
intolerant. He can't eat cheese or drink milk without doubling over in
pain from stomach cramps. It's completely mental, when he's not seeing
anyone - you should see this man's cheese consumption.....it's
stunning.
My birthday was actually pretty goood. People remembered to call me, my
parents, a buddy from Australia. Thank you guys again, by the way.
I ended up having a sort of birthday weekend, it was very very nice.
The Friday before, the S.O. and I went to my new favorite Chinese
restaurant in Chinatown. It's called Big China Tong Sing. They have the
best eggrolls ever.
Saturday, I got a gift certificate in the mail from my parents for
Target. Went and bought a new microwave, a new hair dryer, and the
latest extended version of Underworld, that cool vampire movie. The S.O.
went to help this guy he met do a wireless network install and got paid
a little bit of money, so he bought the 1st DVD of Ghost in the Shell,
Stand Alone Complex - which is really good IMHO.
Sunday we just hung out at the apartment.
Monday, I my boss came back from vacation, frankly the best present I
got. I scheduled a thank you luncheon for our graphics department, so
they all sang happy birthday to me at the end. The rest of the day was
pretty normal.
see you
things suck. At least my last post was about things suck....
They don't really, but I'm a drama queen.
I haven't written since before my birthday.
I've been to the beach 3 times since then. I love going to the beach. It
makes me feel at peace with the world. The sound of the waves just melts
away all the bad juujuu I've been feeling I have and realize that I
really am in a better place emotionally and physically.
Had we stayed in Austin, I'd be up to my eyeballs in all sorts of shit.
No power, no phone, no place to live and definitely no fun. There were
no jobs in Austin and if I did land one, it probably wouldn't have paid
as well as the one I have now.
I have some how lost my allergy to eggs too. Weirdness. Ordered
eggbeaters instead of scrambled eggs on a dinner at IHoP one morning
when the S.O. & I were splurging - they tasted kinda funny but, not bad
so I said something to the SO about it.....his eggs tasted funny too.
Well we switched the eggs, because, of course - the kitchen or waitress
made a mistake. But I've been able to eat eggs ever since. I assume that
this particular allergy was just a mental thing. I'd been told by my mom
that I was allergic to eggs, so I never ate them and when I did, they
made me nauseous (sp?). It's like my roomie's allergy to cheese. If he
is in a relationship with a woman, he magically becomes lactose
intolerant. He can't eat cheese or drink milk without doubling over in
pain from stomach cramps. It's completely mental, when he's not seeing
anyone - you should see this man's cheese consumption.....it's
stunning.
My birthday was actually pretty goood. People remembered to call me, my
parents, a buddy from Australia. Thank you guys again, by the way.
I ended up having a sort of birthday weekend, it was very very nice.
The Friday before, the S.O. and I went to my new favorite Chinese
restaurant in Chinatown. It's called Big China Tong Sing. They have the
best eggrolls ever.
Saturday, I got a gift certificate in the mail from my parents for
Target. Went and bought a new microwave, a new hair dryer, and the
latest extended version of Underworld, that cool vampire movie. The S.O.
went to help this guy he met do a wireless network install and got paid
a little bit of money, so he bought the 1st DVD of Ghost in the Shell,
Stand Alone Complex - which is really good IMHO.
Sunday we just hung out at the apartment.
Monday, I my boss came back from vacation, frankly the best present I
got. I scheduled a thank you luncheon for our graphics department, so
they all sang happy birthday to me at the end. The rest of the day was
pretty normal.
see you
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